Just Can't Win!
It's amazing - or depressing - however you want to look at it.
Mark and I spent four years trying to undo the damage from the lifetime that his youngest boys spent with their mother. They each had overt and hidden problems from the abuse and neglect in their past. I think we helped Frankie; Michael - who knows.
But, since Michael left, at the end of May, I have to say that my health and my attitude have improved 1000%. I laugh more; cry less. Each day is a blessing, instead of a curse.
I don't know if that makes me a bad person or if it means that the situation was so toxic for me that I had to get out to save my life and my sanity. I know that I would have ever 'let' him leave, without finishing school and developing some skills to see him through his adult life.
In all honesty, I do miss him and worry desperately about him living with his mother. If I dwell on, what I believe to be, his prospects for the future - I become terrified for him. (When asked what he wanted to do with his life, his answers were always beyond the realm of possibility - basketball star, race car driver.)
So, even though we don't have in-your-face-every-day stress anymore, we have the upset of not knowing how he's doing or what abuse he might be suffering.
Just can't win!
Don't forget to visit JMark Afghans and My Gallery at Zazzle
We also have a page on Squidoo that supports the Genocide Intervention Network.
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We look forward to seeing you online.
God Bless!
Jules
