First of all - hats off to MemoryStock.com! Free Shipping! that got here from Stockton, CA in about 48 hours. (Actually less, but I'm too lazy to calculate the exact time involved.) And the right part - the first time! Once I adjust my laptop's attitude, I am definitely going to order from them again.

Now for the bad news. I have an off-lease IBM ThinkPad R40e 2484-NU2 that we bought (okay, Frankie bought it) from a third-party on eBay. It's not the speediest of laptops and, in fact, came with only 384MB of RAM - of which, the BIOS (Basic Input Output System) recognizes about 366MB. (I'd swear the description didn't mention this dearth of RAM, but then I'm old and forget things.)

For an oldie, moldie laptop - at least the RAM is upgradable to 1GB. Unfortunately, the BIOS doesn't know that. So, we (meaning me) need to update the BIOS. Easy, peasy - right!? {buzzer} Nope!

In order to update the BIOS, I need a solid A/C connection and a fully charged battery. Go on the A/C; no-go on the battery. It quit charging about 6 (or more) months ago. Since the A/C works and I never (okay, hardly ever) accidentally pull out the adapter plug - not an issue. Plus - have you priced laptop batteries lately!?!

Well, now it's an issue. In order to use the RAM we just bought, I have to purchase the replacement battery that I have been trying desperately not to need. If you follow JMark Afghans on Twitter, you may have noticed a Tweet that mentions "Visions of Laptop as Frisbee {film at 11}" recently.

All I can say? If this $30 memory upgrade gets any more expensive? I'm buyin' a hammer. A really big hammer. {film at 11:15}

There was a commercial on TV the other day for RV loans. A comment was made about "Yeah, for the price of a house!" Which isn't far from the truth, from where I sit. Yet, if you think about it -- isn't that, really, what you're buying?

I can imagine retirees, of any age, getting rid of the house and the yard work and the maintenance worries. And just taking off to see the country. These days, most of our kids live hundreds or thousands of miles away. Flying back and forth to visit on a regular basis probably costs more than the RV payment.

Plus, from a plane, you don't get the scenery, the little impulse stops, and the relaxation of getting where you're going - when you get there. Life on your schedule, not someone else's. Maybe an RV is a better idea than I first thought.

Eventually, we got really good at being just-the-four-of-us. Okay, maybe not really good - but, hey, nobody died and we're still together. But, starting in 2007, the kids started to disappear. First Frankie; then Michael. We were back to just-the-two-of-us and, although sad at first, we got good at it again.

Over the last 18 months or so, we've had one kid move in and out and in again. It really changes the dynamics - and floor space - when you add a third body (and personality) to the mix. He's been here for about 10 months now and we've adapted, as much as we're going to. Then, last night -- he left.

Granted, it's not a permanent move; he just went to spend the weekend with his older brother. But - Wow! It's quiet in here! And he's not even that noisy. If the room were bigger and you couldn't see him - constantly - out of the corner of your eye, you probably wouldn't even know he was here.

So how does the presence, or lack thereof, of one not-so-noisy person make the whole place seem different? I don't know, but I'll be glad when he gets home on Sunday. The silence is deafening!

In the olden days of my youth, doorbells were hard-wired into the house's electrical system. Something you couldn't do or have done to a rental unit. Well, unless you had a really nice landlord and wanted to leave your chimes when you moved. Not a good solution.

Today, battery-powered units offer more than 10 different tunes, play different sounds or songs for each door, and have sound quality so good you can actually recognize the song. There are even options to add receivers in other rooms. After all, a doorbell isn't much good if you don't hear it.

First, it's expensive. Although the cost of living hasn't increased - according to our whiz-bang government - food is more and more expensive every time we set foot in the store. $4.00/lb for ground meat that's at least 20% fat is insane in my little corner of the universe.

Second, the quality of the products have gone downhill rapidly in recent years. Try to find a decent bag of potatoes or onions, or green peppers that are bigger than an infant's fist - go ahead! I dare you! And what about that chicken? It may be injected with flavorings and sodium-loaded additives at -- wait for it -- up to 15% of its weight! And it still dares to call itself 'natural!'

Third, once you hunt down enough food to hopefully feed three people for a month and survive the sticker shock long enough to schlub it home - it has to be hauled up the stairs and put away. That 20-pack of chicken pieces, 12-pack of pork chops, and those 5 lb. chubs of ground meat have to be cleaned and rewrapped in convenient, meal-size packages that will fit into the freezer. Produce has to be washed; pantry supplies need to be stowed away.

It's an all day event and the only reward is knowing that - with any luck - you won't have to do it again for 3 or 4 weeks. So, if you see Mark, tell him -- I haven't been here, you don't know where I went, and good luck with that grocery thing. (Me? I'm under the bed and I'm not coming out!)

Although it may seem backward, agents worth their commission will tell you to qualify for a mortgage first. A pre-approved mortgage is proof that your offer is serious, backed by a financial institution, and will go through on acceptance. Knowing what you can afford helps focus the search, once you get down to picking a property. Not to mention, with the current economy, pre-approval may be the only way to get an agent to even talk to you.

In a lender's perfect world, each potential mortgagee has flawless credit, high six-figure income, and 20% of the national debt set aside as a down payment. Naturally, the better your financial situation, the better your mortgage rate will be. But there are workable options for the rest of us average folks who may have some credit issues, a higher debt-to-income ratio, and aren't related to Bloomberg, Armani, or Trump.

Most lending institutions offer the same types of home loans: fixed-rate and adjustable-rate being the most common. Each has risks and benefits which should be clearly defined in advance of any agreement. In addition, these traditional mortgages generally only apply to existing single-family homes in move-in condition. Condos, rehabs, new construction, and manufactured homes have their own mortgage rules, uses, and qualifications.

Unless you're in need of / interested in a no-verification mortgage¹, be prepared to pull together a lot of financial information. Different banks, lenders, or programs may look for different documentation. W2s, pay stubs, bank statements, prior year tax returns, list of assets, list of debts, and proof of residence are pretty standard requirements.

Buying a home doesn't have to give you grey hair and ulcers. If you do your homework.

The last (and only) vegetable garden I had was in Colorado, in the late 70s. I grew the world's best (and smallest) cantaloupe and learned to love baby lima beans - fresh off the plant and steamed with a little butter. We had beefsteak tomatoes that were the size of baseballs and effectively spoiled me forever.

We had some amazing flower beds in Michigan in the 80s and even grew cherry tomatoes outside the kitchen window of our townhouse. Moving out of a house and into apartments didn't slow me down. Granted, I couldn't have tomatoes, cantaloupe, and leaf lettuce, but I could (and did) have anything that could tolerate limited light and the confines of a pot or terrarium.

At one point - I kid you not - there were 120+ pots, 'window' boxes, and terrariums, growing madly and filling every spare inch of my Waterford apartment. I became a macrame maniac, creating 2- and 3-level hangers, just to get everything as close to the windows as possible. Watering days were a marathon event and I really should have gotten one of those contraptions that hooks up to the sink, has a mile and a half of hose, and let's you wander from pot to pot without refilling a can.

Many of the plants, and all of the terrariums, required regular misting / higher humidity. (Just what you need in Michigan - more humidity!) The muscles in my forearms would have made a body-builder proud! But my 'babies' were amazing, and worth the work. (Apparently, my cat agreed - he regularly ate all of the new growth on my Sago Palm.)

A lot of what I grew were succulents and cacti, which is rather an odd choice for an east-facing apartment with trees blocking the windows. But they are really low maintenance - preferring to be left alone for a good part of the year. I'm sure that has to do with the fact that they really aren't 'designed' to be kept in a four-season environment.

Our bedrooms and den had the best exposures, so that's where the light-loving plants clustered. My aforementioned Sago Palm, several small barrel- or globe-type cacti (one of which bloomed faithfully twice a year), Haworthia, Opuntia, and many more whose names I no longer remember. The Sansevieria preferred filtered light, so it stayed in the living room.

I still remember the first time I saw a native version of one of my little house plants, here in Arizona. You cannot imagine the shock when confronted with a 4-foot-tall (or taller) version of the little 3-inch baby that sat in a pot on the windowsill. Mother Nature's little reminder that not everything belongs in a container in one's living room.

This time of year makes my green-thumb a little twitchy, and I do miss puttering and pruning. But, seeing how nature grows her 'babies' out here - I think I'll leave it to the expert. Now - where's my camera!?

Think about it for a second. What - exactly - does an image from a web site tell my insurance agent and her claims adjustor if, heaven forbid, I should have to file a claim? I mean, beyond the fact that I obviously liked a particular dresser, headboard, chair, or microwave? Not, as it turns out, a darn thing. Without a receipt, it's just a pretty picture. (Lesson learned!)

However, what I was really looking for tonight?   An easy way for people to put together - and safely store - a list of their possessions. What I found?   EZasset* - an online system that offers a step-by-step process for documenting - room-by-room - everything you own. They even provide up to 1GB of free (my favorite word) storage for your information, solving both problems.

Then, there's my I-need-software-now site:   CNET download.com* - with hundreds of free and free-to-try software downloads. There are a couple (I didn't look at all the pages) of interesting home inventory titles and, being free, if one doesn't suit your needs it's easy to try another. Of course, they don't come with free offsite data storage. But, I'm sure your insurance company would be happy to stick a CD in your file, if you asked them nicely.

Somewhere in between these two ideas is KnowYourStuff™, from the Insurance Information Institute. Their software is free to download and use, with the same step-by-step, room-by-room process as other packages. Where KnowYourStuff™ differs from download-and-use at CNET is Vault ²⁴ - a secure, online storage facility. Unlike EZasset, however, Vault ²⁴ is not free.

So, I'm happy to say, there are several options out there - at little to no cost. Add a little time and energy and, before you know it, you can see exactly what you own. Or, in our case, just how serious a pack-rat you've become.

*   Links are provided as-is and for informational purposes only. No web site safety, usability, or endorsement is guaranteed, offered, or implied.

Obviously, we can't afford our own personal on-call burly he-men home security team. But, with visions of gun-wielding thugs in ski-masks running through my head and my home, I had to find options. Home monitoring systems, like ADT, were my first thought.

Even though someone is always home, I knew we'd sleep better (okay, Frankie sleeps like the dead anyway) if we had someone/something 'guarding' our doors and windows. Then, the light bulb went on -- someone is always home -- and our broken window became a much bigger issue. Security packages under a dollar a day moved ADT way up the options list. (Oh, honnneeeey! I have an i-deee-aaaa!)

My "idea" notwithstanding, getting a few police security tips - in case we've been helping the bad guys - was my next step. Keeping doors and windows locked? Check! Of course, when the neighbor knocks on your door to tell you that your keys are in the lock (true story) turning that bolt on the inside isn't exactly the great we've-shut-'em-out-now moment it should be.

Less obvious? Etching a unique number, which can be registered with the local police department, on all high-end possessions. (My first husband engraved our valuables back when we rarely locked our doors. Smart man!) I was reminded the other day, something our maintenance man said, that we need to be a little more proactive protecting what we own.

Which leads to a must-do tip: keep an inventory list with pictures. The key is having one copy outside the home - with your insurance company, in a safety-deposit box - and one, preferably, in a fireproof box/safe at home. If it's only on the computer and the computer is stolen or crashes - there goes your list and your proof.

Document everything, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. (Okay, not food in the fridge; but definitely the fridge.) If there is a problem, your insurance company can/will only cover what you can prove you lost/owned. Most policies have a lump-sum clothing reimbursement, so if you have expensive (leather, fur) items, get them on the list; as well as jewelry.

Computers, stereos, DVD players, beds, sofas, appliances - big things you stub your toes on - are obvious. But coffee makers, crock pots, pots and pans, air filters, vacuums, hair dryers, DVDs and CDs, lamps - to mention a few things - can add up to significant replacement cost if not included. (Wow, do I need to update my list!)

Living in an apartment, many of the security tips I found were beyond our control or simply not applicable. But this list from the Fort Worth, PD gave me a lot to think about. The dead bolt and strike plates on our front door, strength of the door frame, secondary locks on the windows, and - what started all of this - the quality of the windows themselves.

It all started with taking the dining table apart, which isn't quite as radical as it sounds. Sitting in front of the living room window, the table was basically just an extra flat surface for storing what didn't fit anywhere else. With it gone, Frankie's bed moved under the window and out of the way. It even gives him a headboard, by butting up against the side of the computer desk.

Of course, the table wasn't the only thing on that wall. But moving the portable washer into the walkway between the bedroom and living room, freed up half of the wall opposite the window. The 'stuff' crammed into the corner is now neatly stacked across the room. The whole area just feels bigger now.

Today was the real test of the new set-up. Every month or so, maintenance comes in to 'inspect' the apartment and replace the furnace filters. In anticipation of this inspection, we decided to do a quick steam-clean of the carpets. (We do that twice a month, anyway; but it was a good excuse to pull out the machine a little early.)

Needless to say, with all of the furniture and 'stuff' out of the middle of the living room, cleaning the carpet was almost fun. Well, if not fun, at least a whole lot easier. I will never scoff again.

Okay, I'll probably snicker a bit. He does have some wild ideas, after all. But I solemnly promise to never pooh-pooh out loud!

In the Kitchen

We have so many cooking utensils and knives, we could open a small store. They all get used, at one point or another, and need to be handy. (Did I mention we only have one drawer in the kitchen!?) Rather than spend a small fortune on containers, I decided to recycle some of our empty coffee cans. (The dollar store had a huge sale on vinyl contact paper a couple of years ago and I grabbed all of the marble patterns.)

It took no time at all to 'marbleize' a standard metal coffee can and stick a margarine tub in the bottom - the cans will rust, if utensils are damp when put away. Using the plastic lid as a skid-proof, non-scratching bottom - ta da! - matching utensil containers. There's one container for whisks, spatulas, and wooden spoons used during cooking; one for steak knives, mashers, gravy ladles, and pizza cutters used after cooking.

Because most of the knives are much taller than a single coffee can, I had to get even more creative. After cutting the bottom off one can, I taped the two cans together and covered them in the same marble pattern. One lid went on the bottom, just like the smaller containers. I carefully cut the center out of the other lid and snapped it on top of the tall container, creating a smooth edge. A small plastic bowl (I was out of margarine tubs) in the bottom keeps the knives from touching metal and getting damaged when they get (too frequently) dropped in after cleaning.

Canister options abound, but we found that they were either too tall for our cabinets or simply too expensive. With guys who aren't always careful, it made more sense to make my own - unbreakable - canisters. Two plastic coffee containers, the kind with the seal-tight lids and indented grips are perfect. Folgers, not Maxwell House. (MH has closed hollow handles that fill up and don't easily release their contents.) The Folgers website even has downloadable designs to print out and stick over the product information. (Or they did over the holidays.)

Now, we get down to the other food storage needs: rice and corn meal. Two round oatmeal containers, a little marble paper, and - voila! - canisters that hold 4 lbs of rice and a big bag of corn meal. The lids seal tightly, so we don't have to worry about spillage or bugs. No muss, no fuss.

In the Bathroom

Things are pretty standard. One of the small wash tubs that the hospitals sent home with Mark are holding the myriad bandages, tapes, and small bottles that we acquired after Mark's and Frankie's surgeries. There is just no other way, to my mind, to keep a slew of roly-poly, slip-sliding, gotta-get-at-this-someday items together and out of the way.

Another tub holds bathroom electronics: curling iron, blow dryer, electric razors. I could definitely use another one for all of the light bulbs we have distributed around the apartment. But, putting someone in the hospital to get a cute, pink tub is not exactly tops on my how-to-solve-a-storage-problem list.

I have a small basket, with straighter sides than the tubs, that holds nail polish and removers, nail clippers and files, lotions, creams, mousse - all my personal 'beauty junk' in one consolidated place. I can get at it, but it's not in anyone else's way. I also have a great zippered vinyl pouch, free with sample Herbal Essence products, that squeezes in almost anywhere and holds items I don't use as often.

The sliding rack out of our dead freezer holds all of my cleaning rags, under the bathroom sink. Next to that is an old, gigantic cat litter container, with handle, that keeps the cleaning supplies together and doubles as a mop/scrub bucket. It also ensures that any damp items don't come in contact with the bottom of the cabinet.

Tomorrow? The Kitchen!