Internet / Phone / Cable Savings

Several items that jumped out at me were related to Internet / Phone / Cable service - necessary evils in my life.

1. One great idea, if you haven't seen the 80 gazillion commercials, is to bundle services. Putting your phone, cable, and Internet together with one carrier, on one bill, can save a ton of money each year. And, if there's a problem, only one call to make.
2. Do you absolutely have to have the fastest Internet speeds available? Really. Unless you're a major gamer, chances are you can step down to a lower speed without noticing the difference. We need reliable and we need faster than dial-up, but beyond that - we just don't need blazing fast speeds.
3. Ignoring part of the first tip, what about using Internet phone service? There are a lot of reliable VOiP options that offer a flat monthly rate that's much lower than the phone company. It's a great way to get rid of the phone company landline. We've been thinking about MagicJack.
4. Along with the second question, do you really need 300 channels? Really. When we had our own service, we had a couple hundred channels. It was great. When the complex cut us down to their free basic, we lost over a hundred of those stations. We miss about 5 of them.

Credit / Interest / Bank Savings

It's not just credit cards that slap us with interest. A noticeable percentage of car loan and mortgage payments is interest. But, there are ways to improve the situation.

1. First, get your credit score in order. As your score goes up, interest rates should go down.
   • AnnualCreditReport.com - the only authorized source for the free annual credit report you are allowed by law - will get you the information from all three reporting agencies. If you spot problems, their website offers information on correcting errors or dealing with identity theft.
2. Pay bills on time - or early. Interest rates on cards, loans, and mortgages are calculated (if memory serves) from due date to due date. By making payment late, interest accumulates unabated.
   • If you can, pay a little early and a little extra. You'd be amazed how quickly those balances drop. I once paid off a 60-month car loan in 49 months, just by adding a little to the payment and sending it in on the first instead of the fifteenth of the month.
3. Request a reduction in the interest rate on your credit card(s). If you pay faithfully, your credit card company may be willing to throw you a bone. Or you could look into a zero-interest or low-rate card.
4. Avoid bank fees like the plague. If your checking account carries fees, consider changing account types. Or consider changing banks. There's simply no reason to pay for the use of your own money.

Those are just a few of the 50+ ideas from DoughRoller.net - and I haven't even started on the great ideas from the comments on Mr. Berger's column. Be sure to check it out.

And, while you're at it, how do you save money every day? Carry your lunch? Walk to work? Cut your own hair? Feel free to share what works for you. I'm always looking for great Thrifty ideas.

While the park benches I found are (probably) designed for public spaces, I don't see any reason they couldn't work on the back patio. Or even in a sun room or screened-in porch.

I can see a pad, like for a chaise, on the seat. Add a couple of tables and simple lamps, and ... ta da! A lovely spot to lounge with a good book.

Picnic tables are another personal weakness. Sitting outside on a warm evening with burgers, dogs, and a pitcher of tea? Perfect.

I like the small-ish square units best. Seating four or more people, with the benches attached, they fit nicely in smaller spaces where long, rectangular tables just wouldn't go. And, seriously, so cute!

A bright cloth and some colorful tableware are all it needs.

Even though my granddaughter is only 17 months old and lives in Chicago, playground equipment just speaks to a grandparent.

The options are almost endless, but this one grabbed me. The adorable details got me started. Then, my inner child went "Ooooh!" and I was lost. Swings, bumpy slide, climbing wall - it's all here, just waiting for me to turn 4 again and climb on.

All I can say is: "Just wait until I get a yard!" (And hit the lottery, cuz there's a lot of shopping to be done here.)

I googled satellite dish since I'm going to be moving this week and need a good deal on TV! Great deal, by the way. I need to be super conscious of my expenses nowadays. Who doesn't, right?

I'm so excited for my move. Not the actual move, but living in the new apartment. You know what I mean. Actually moving is the pits.

I've been working on packing all day and I haven't even touched my kitchen. It is incredible how much STUFF one person can accumulate! And I'm far from a pack rat! I actually have the opposite problem.

My mom is coming in to town to help me. I have such a great mom! I'm glad we'll have the TV all taken care of. As soon as we finish dinner, she likes to turn on the TV and just relax until bed. That is the way to go, though.

My mom is an amazing cook, too. She's been on a healthy kick for a while, which is probably great for my waistline, but I miss her meatballs! She always tells me I eat too many carbs! She is right, though.

I am a carb queen!

Granted, you're going to know if you aren't caring for your floor regularly. Or properly.

Before & After: Dinette/Den

Stone is not immune to damage and, with time and neglect, even dust can cause scratches. However, on a daily basis, as the surface dulls and small damage occurs, you may not really notice the changes until it's too late.

Scheduling regular inspection and/or granite polishing is going to save a lot of money in the long run. A small polishing job once a year is far more cost effective than waiting until chips and deep gouges in the floor require major restoration work.

For me? Since I don't manage to clean my faux-marble-ish lino every day, I suppose that I should wait until we hit the lottery and have a full-time cleaning staff before I pick out the granite flooring. Although, maybe a granite countertop is within my powers to keep up.

Stainless and Silver Tiles

We don't really have a large surface to cover, so price isn't a huge consideration. (One of the benefits of a supremely tiny kitchen.) Metal mosaic wall tiles (didn't know there was such a product) really appeal to me. Easy to keep clean and seriously durable - two of my favorite things.

But, and this is a biggie, they are a little hard on the budget.

That sends me back to glass tiles, which is fine. There are about a zillion options, including some beautiful stone and glass tiles from which to choose. And prices tend to be far more reasonable for our limited cash flow.

Now, all I have to do is find something PB and chocolate colored. Well, and convince management (and Mark) to let me redecorate. Wish me luck!

One caveat, before we begin: some of what we're looking at, as far as refilling containers, is not about food storage. Not all plastics are food-safe. They can leach chemicals, some of which are known carcinogens, into your lunch or leftovers.

Containers

One thing we are famous for, at our house, is repurposing plastic bottles. That big, empty dish soap bottle - rinsed well - now holds the feeding solution for our plant. The oven cleaner spray bottle - thoroughly washed - is our plant mister.

There's no reason why, if the bottle for the window cleaner doesn't spray anymore, you can't repurpose the one from the carpet cleaner. Just wash it well first. (The window cleaner might just bleach the carpet.)

Bulk Buying, Refilling, and Going Green makes a really good point about containers. Old mayonnaise or pickle jars make great canisters and dry goods storage. Since they're clear, you can easily see what's stored in them. If you don't have room on the shelf for a big can or box, these smaller jars are perfect.

At our house, we love coffee and oatmeal containers. The large coffee ones are a great size for our small cupboards, have great stay-fresh lids and easy-grip handles, and hold about 4 pounds of flour or sugar, each. I covered several tall oatmeal containers in matching contact paper to hold our rice, corn meal, and spaghetti noodles.

Concentrates

One great way to save money, and save the environment, is to buy cleaners in concentrated form and refill smaller, easier-to-manage bottles. Ready-to-use products are already diluted with water, meaning they weigh more to ship - further increasing cost to the consumer.

Some manufacturers, like Windex®, are already testing the shopping waters, by offering small pouches of concentrated products that you just cut, pour, and dilute - at home. Some, like LA's Totally Awesome, have always offered a concentrated version of their most popular products. Hopefully, this will keep a little more plastic out of the landfills.

We make our dish soap do double duty. The brand we buy is concentrated and we buy the largest bottle they have. Part of it goes, full strength, into a smaller bottle at the kitchen sink; part of it, diluted by 1/4 to 1/3, goes into a pump bottle at the bathroom sink for hand soap.

It's easy to see the 1,000,001 ways that bottles, jars, cans, and containers can be used and reused. Plus, as Greenery points out, the more we reuse and refill - the less we have to schlub to the trash can.

(Press any of the above links for more great ideas from the three writers who inspired this post.)

The days and weeks leading up to that jolly holiday are the busiest for JMark Afghans. We, easily, get as many orders in the last third of the year as in the other eight months combined. And since we don't make it, until you order it, those four months can get pretty ... interesting.

Which is why we'd like to offer you a little Christmas-in-July gift, a reason to order early and order often.

From now, through August 31, we're running a Buy-One-Get-One special. Every order, over $150, will automatically include a matching lapghan - a minimum $40.00 value - at no extra charge. At 36" x 36", they are the perfect size to throw over your legs, wrap around your shoulders, or bundle up the baby.

And you just can't beat FREE!

Whether you're decorating a dorm room, jazzing up the den, or brightening up the bedroom, avoid the holiday rush and crush by ordering now. Then, when the snow is falling and shoppers are scurrying, you can sit back and gloat, just a little. Because you did your shopping - in July.

By guessing how much you own and what it's worth, you run a huge financial risk. Overestimate and, month after month, you're paying premiums for coverage that you'll never use. Guess too low and, in the event of a loss, you'll be replacing furnishings out of your own pocket.

For example, if you opt for a policy that covers $50,000 in personal goods, that is the absolute maximum that the insurance company will pay out. Own more than that, and you're out of luck. If you own less, the insurance company will only pay out the value of what you owned; not $50,000.

How To Make a List

The easiest way, at least for me, is to go room by room.

If you've never done this before, start with a small room. Grab your camera and a notepad, or better yet an inventory form. There's a good one here to get you started.

Now simply photograph and record everything you own. The process is the same whether you rent or own your home. You are going to write down and take pictures of anything and everything that, if it were damaged or stolen, you would personally have to replace.

Do your best to remember what you paid for it at the time. Ideally, your coverage will be for the replacement value of each item; but all mattresses look alike, even though prices vary widely.

Additional Information

Hopefully, you are a diligent record keeper and never throw anything out; because you're going to want to add the original receipts to the pictures and list.

As I mentioned before, all mattresses look alike, as do many electronics, appliances, towels, and dishes. Without receipts and/or detailed information, it is entirely possible that the insurance company's payout will be much lower than your original cost.

Storage

Once you've put together all of this information, you're going to want to make certain that it's kept in a safe place.

I would suggest making several copies, on disk and/or online, of your pictures, lists, and receipts. Ideally, one set would go to the insurance company and one set would be kept in a safety deposit box or a fireproof box. You could even give a copy to family or friends for safekeeping.

The whole point is to have an accurate record of what you own in case of an emergency. Disasters strike and burglaries happen. You should never be unprepared for the worst.

'Awesome' Products

There are over 25 products on the LA's Totally Awesome website. From oven and grill cleaners, to laundry soap and fabric softener and stain treaters and bleach, to bathroom cleaners, to cleaners with orange or bleach or oxygen, to ammonia with lemon or pine -- there is a product for every job.

I haven't tried all of them, by any stretch of the imagination; but the ones I have used certainly live up to their press. And they're a good size. Each bottle is, depending on product, no smaller than 24 oz; most are 32 oz -- or larger.

One of the first items we tried was the All-Purpose Cleaner (APC), which is just that. Full strength or at various levels of dilution, we have 'undone' some of Mark's more interesting kitchen oopses - no fuss and {poof} no muss. It worked well on painted walls, stove tops, and cabinets with fake veneers.

Another extremely 'Awesome' item that does what it claims is the Window Cleaner. Being smokers, we tend to acquire smoke stains on walls, windows, mirrors, TV screens ... you get the idea. This cleaner takes on all stains and surfaces. (It isn't super wonderful on grease, or we wouldn't need the APC.)

My absolute hands-down favorite product from 'Awesome' is the Mop & Shine. It used to come in a spray bottle -- spray, wipe, and done convenient. We haven't bought it since they changed the packaging and, for some reason, it's not on the LA's Totally Awesome website anymore.

Awesome Benefits

Just a quick line (or two) about the safety of these products:

• No acid
• No ammonia (except ammonia products)
• No bleach (except cleaners w/ bleach)
• Non-flammable
• Safe for septic tanks
• Contains no phosphorous

And they are -- Made in the USA!

Awesome Stores

We used to buy all of our 'Awesome' cleaners at the local dollar store for ... wait for it ... $1.00/bottle. Sadly, they are having a tough time and don't seem to carry most of our favorite goodies. So my mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find a new source.

There are a number of stores listed on the LA's Totally Awesome website. It's difficult to confirm exactly which stores carry which products. The best I could do was:

• Dollar Tree carries (on their website) every single solitary LA's Totally Awesome product - including my beloved Mop & Shine. The price is the same - $1.00/bottle; but they only sell in case lots online. They will ship to a local store, for free; but charge shipping to get it to your door.
• 4sgm.com is a wholesaler that offers by-the-case sales only. They seem to carry virtually all the 'Awesome' products at a lower per-unit cost than Dollar Tree -- with one huge caveat: Minimum order is $250.00. Which would work if one could get several people/families together and combine orders.
• 99¢ Only is supposed to carry LA's Totally Awesome products, but the only online sales are through their 'Club 99' program. Without signing up and logging in, it's impossible to tell what exactly they offer.
• Family Dollar and Dollar General are also listed as retailers. As best I could tell, neither offers online sales and, without visiting a store, there is no way to know exactly which products are available.
• The same holds true for the many little mom-and-pop dollar and discount stores around the country. Not part of a chain, it takes actually going through the cleaning products at the shop to know if and where you can find 'Awesome' cleaners.

I hope I've given you some help with those much-hated, but unavoidable, household jobs. Heaven knows, now that I've found my little cleaning treasures again, I'm going to be stocking up.

Today, I got slapped in my crocheting ego. Rather than use and toss the pads that come with the Swiffer WetJet, zillions of people-who-hate-cleaning - just like I do - are greening up Swiffer with reusable {blush} crocheted pads. Hence, the ego-bruising.

I can't believe that I didn't think of this. Color me supremely embarrassed. But - ha, ha - recovering quickly.

There are bits and pieces of yarn in my scrap bag that I think would be perfect for these pads. Woo hoo - I'm off to do some creating.

Keep watching - you may well be buying your very own Swiffer-ish scrub pads right here, real soon.

See, I always thought that blowers were the greatest lawn care device since the lawn mower. Why rake and pile-up and gather all those clippings (and leaves), when you can just blow them into the neighbor's yard? At least, that was the argument I tried with my mom.

She didn't buy it either.

Around here, the lawn service uses their blowers to get the clippings out of the rocks and off the sidewalk. How they gather them up, after that, I have no idea. (New-mown grass makes me sneeze, so I keep the doors and windows closed when I hear that noise.)

They used to come around and 'dust' the walkway in front of the apartments; blew all that debris off to heaven-knows where. It certainly saved me a lot of broom time. Which is another great reason to have a blower.

Who wants to spend all that time sweeping off the sidewalk? Not me! I spent summer Saturdays clearing the walk and the drive, and the back patio and steps.

I am so over it.

Home Security

Consequently, I think about home security systems a great deal. And, I can tell you, they aren't what they used to be. Some of the options are definitely worth a closer look.

Wireless

There's something called SkyGard™ that immediately caught my attention. Where most security systems are hard-wired and connect via phone lines, this option offers a wireless connection. Should something happen to the phones, your home is still protected. It even works as a standalone system.

Interactive

I also like the interactive services I was reading about: Check the system and sensors, arm and disarm security, and get notifications about the status of your home and system - on your computer or smartphone. They may not be new or unique, I don't know; but they are great.

Safety

In the first 6 months of 2010, reports of property crimes and burglaries were actually down for most U.S. metropolitan areas. That's good news. But it's no guarantee.

Anyone with property - personal or real estate - knows that it only makes sense to protect yourself. We have gates, but we don't leave our doors unlocked and our windows open. And we insure our belongings.

Isn't a good security system just one more tool?

Among other benefits, it means that our faithful readers will know first what Purex® is developing, where and when it goes on sale, and - most importantly - whether the products perform as promised.

Oh, and for those who follow us regularly - we're going to be offering chances to win free stuff.

As a new member of Purex Insiders, we're waiting with bated breath to see what goodies we'll receive first.

There are a couple of new products that are pretty intriguing: Purex® Complete with Zout® (detergent and pre-treater) and Purex® Complete Crystals™ Softener (softener added to the wash cycle). With all of the afghans we wash, the Crystals are something we can really use.

We already love Purex® Free & Clear, but generally don't mess with pre-treaters; it's an extra step that seems to be more work than help. And, face it, remembering to catch the rinse cycle for the fabric softener makes laundry day even more of a chore. I can't wait to see how these new products work and - with any luck - simplify an unavoidable job.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I am a Purex Insider. While I do receive complimentary sample products from the Purex® brand, my opinions are my own.

I hate using plastic bags, but they are (so far) the best option I've found for keeping produce usable longer. The key is getting it put away, properly, as quickly as possible. It's never going to be any fresher than the day you bring it home.

We wash, cut up, and bag most of what we buy immediately.

Photo: Wikimedia/Francinegirvan

Celery and Green Pepper: Clean and cut into strips about the width of a quart-size freezer bag. We divide into two or three bags. (If one goes, it doesn't take out the whole batch.) Squeeze the air out and they'll last up to a month in the veggie bin.

Carrots: Scrub (not peel) them well and trim ends. Cut into usable sizes: strips for snacking, larger pieces for cooking. Bag by size and, again, get all of the air out.

Fresh Greens, e.g., Spinach, Lettuce: Wash well and shake off excess water; core head lettuce. Bag carefully; don't bruise. Leaf lettuce, collard greens, kale, etc. need a damp paper towel in the bag. (We bag head lettuce in halves or thirds; no paper towel.)

Fresh Herbs, Green Onions: Common wisdom says store these in water. I wash them well, remove iffy leaves and fresh-cut the herb stems. (Don't trim root-end of onions.) A sturdy mug is less likely to fall over in the fridge.

Onions and Potatoes: The exceptions to the rules. These veggies need air or they rot. My absolute personal favorite storage method is wire mesh, three-tiered hanging baskets. Just hang somewhere that's not too warm, with good airflow. Should work just as well for turnips, rutabagas, parsnips and other root veggies.

Fruits are, naturally, totally different. If you cut them up before storing, they tend to turn brown or dry out. For almost all of our fruits, I like (again) those mesh hanging baskets. Or paper bags, in the veggie bin. Keep apples away from everything else; they give off gases as they ripen which accelerate ripening (and rot) in most other produce.

So, what did I miss? Do you buy, and successfully store, other goodies from the produce aisle? Please share your tips and tricks in the comments.

We all need to make our food dollars go as far as we can. Not throwing away half of what we buy is a darned good place to start.

Digital Coupons

The main source of digital grocery coupons are the stores themselves. All you need is a store discount / saver / club card, whatever they call it where you shop. Then, go online to the store website, choose your coupons, and upload to your card. (If the shopping part was only that easy.)

Grocery Stores

I've listed these two stores, because they're in our area and I know they offer online ecoupons. Check your store for similar deals.

Safeway.com has a pretty extensive collection of coupons. Sort them by your purchase history (items you've bought before), best value, new offers, and deals about to expire. They're not region-specific, so you should be able to use them anywhere in the country.

Kroger / Fry's is another great source. The last time I checked, there were over 100 coupons available for everything from bread and soup to laundry soap and pet food. Again, you can sort by newest, expiration, popularity, or value.

Online Services

P&G eSaver is one of my personal favorites. They offer coupons for a huge number of Proctor & Gamble products and - love this so much - will upload them to your store shopper card. Just register your card and off you go - save away.

Shortcuts.com is a free service from AOL that has several different options. You can register a shopper card from a large selection of participating stores and upload your choice of coupons. They also offer printable coupons, cash-back savings, and online coupon codes.

Cellfire.com is another online service that lets you upload coupons to your store card. But, unlike other services, you can also get non-grocery coupons sent to your mobile phone. You'll never leave home without savings at your fingertips again.

Printable Coupons

Most sites offering printable coupons require that you download their special printer software. It's important, because the coupons' bar codes won't scan if not printed properly.

Grocery Stores

Albertson's, which may be a different online company in your area, only provides printable coupons. (At least, I couldn't find any electronic ones.) The offers seem to vary, somewhat, by store and region.

Whole Foods Market is located across the US, as well as British Columbia, Ontario, and the UK. The products look to be exclusive to the store, but there are a lot of available coupons.

Online Services

CouponBug and Coupons.com seem to offer the same (exact) printable coupons. There are also savings card options, as well as coupon codes for online shopping. (The majority of their deals seem to be in the printables, but they do work with several different shopper cards.)

Kingdom First Mom has some great coupon resources. Including a searchable database with information on - literally - thousands of coupons, deals, and offers. It took me a little time to figure out the lingo (for which KFM offers a glossary).

This is, by no means, a complete list of options. But, it should get you started saving on that weekly grocery bill.

Please feel free to share your favorite sites, pages, and online deals.

Not to mention, I can crank down the heater, throw open a window, and sleep like a baby.

So, if you're tired of cold feet and outrageous heating bills, we'd be happy to help you thumb your nose at brutally cold days and sub-zero nights. (Our afghans are just as cozy for a nap on the sofa or a movie marathon in your favorite overstuffed chair.) And it couldn't be easier to get yours.

Quick Afghan 001 - Green

Select your Size and Color(s)
~ then click [Buy Now] to order your Afghan

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Even here in good ol' AZ, we've got weeks of chilly nights ahead of us. For those brave souls who live further north or at higher elevations, winter has a much nastier attitude. Especially, it seems, this year.

Why suffer? Or spend a fortune on heating bills? We'll deliver a one-of-a-kind winter cure right to your front door.

Unfortunately, this time around, we aren't the subscribers.

There is simply no way for us to contact the service provider - to complain, to urge repairs, to hurl epithets and incredibly colorful phrases. We have to call the complex and beg for help. Some days it works. Some days it's like spitting in the wind: accomplishes nothing, but adds a whole 'nother layer of bad to your attitude.

So far, in the last week, we've had more downs than ups. But today took it to a whole new level. Every half hour, at ten before and twenty after, the wireless disappeared. Completely dropped off the list of connections.

So, if this is any indication, I'm really going to hate this month.

I didn't start out that way, though; few of us do. In my teens, I threw a few choice words at my brother occasionally. When Mom heard one particularly creative rant, I learned cursing wasn't as cool as I thought.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Nevit Dilmen

Little Pitchers with Big Ears

When my children were young, their father and I agreed to "No swearing in front of the kids." We knew that no matter what you try to teach them, kids inevitably pick up the one word even you wouldn't say in front of grandma. And repeat it until your ears bleed.

Of course, in those days, television programs weren't filled with half-naked people spewing profanities. It was pretty easy to limit their exposure. Firm rules took care of any ... interesting phrases ... that wandered home with them.

To this day, my kids don't often swear in front of me. It's kind of sweet.

'Construct'ing a Potty Mouth

In the late 80s, I met (and later married) a loud, rowdy, journeyman carpenter. I was a paper-pushing, brutally-shy, bean-counter-in-training. We couldn't have been more different; in the beginning.

It was from this man that I learned swearing a proverbial blue streak is not a sign of ignorance or stupidity. He was extremely intelligent, but it had become habit to curse, rather than take the time and energy to find a different word. Before long, I'd 'caught' that lazy habit.

After almost 10 years, I'm still fighting it. But it gets easier and it helps when I hear Mark tell someone, proudly, "Oh, she almost never swears."

Changes

Granted it is easy, over time, to develop bad habits. (The good ones aren't so easy; darn it.) As an individual or, I guess, even as a society.

We see and hear things every day from television, movies, the neighbors, our kids that eventually sound or look 'normal'. The shock value is diminished with nearly constant exposure. Or so the experts claim.

I'm not saying (I don't have the right) that people should clean up their language. That all manner of media need to wash out their proverbial mouths with soap. That maybe it's time to look at what we tolerate and ask ourselves why.

Okay, I am suggesting that last one.

Impulse or emotional spending is one of the biggest hits to our budgets and credit cards. And, when it's all said and done, we rarely feel better because we're now cash-poorer or deeper in debt. In fact, shopping-as-therapy is almost guaranteed to make us feel worse.

That's why I gave it up, years ago. I had closets and drawers full of stuff I never (or rarely) used and my credit cards were groaning under the weight of all those charges. Believe me, the impulse is still there (watches, shoes, and handbags call to me); I've just learned to turn a deaf ear and blind eye.

The latest The Simple Dollar column, "The Lifestyle You Want," looks at some basic emotional and financial truths. Starting with "If you're unhappy with your life, buying stuff won't change that." Truthfully, how much do we really need - not want, not desire - but need to be happy?

My Gotta-Have List

• A roof over my head that doesn't leak ~ I am not likely to enjoy living in my vehicle or taking up permanent residence in a tent in the wilderness.
• Running water and a working toilet ~ For pretty much the same reasons as above, these are things I just gotta have. No negotiating.
• Electricity and/or Gas ~ Being averse to living in a tent or vehicle, I am also averse to having no lights or heat (or cool). I know it's odd, but that's just the way I am.
• Food, on a fairly regular basis ~ It doesn't have to be gourmet; it just needs to land (by my own hand or Mark's) on a plate near my face every day, or so.
• Clothes ~ Again, like the food, it doesn't have to be fancy. Heaven knows, I don't go anywhere fancy. But I do like to cover up the ugly parts, even if I'm just sitting around playing computer games.
• Select Electronics ~ Okay, I'm not as basic as I'd like to think. I need a TV and a computer and a basic cell phone - I just do. Right or wrong.
• Books ~ I would probably be willing to swap the TV for an unlimited supply of reading material. In fact, I'm pretty sure that would be more than a fair trade.

Off the top of my head, I can't honestly think of anything else that's a deal-breaker. A working vehicle would be really great. However, since ours died a couple of years ago, I know that it's possible to get around without one. It's not convenient or always easy, but it can be done.

Your Gotta-Have List

What about you? What would be on your list of gotta-haves? Better yet - what can you, absolutely, give up or do without?

This free, downloadable book offers five (5) simple ideas for regaining and keeping control of your money - and your life.

Idea #1: Spend Less Than You Earn!

"In the end, this is the fundamental rule of personal finance."

It seems so obvious, doesn't it? No matter how much you make each year, that's all you have to spend. If I only have $500.00 in my pocket, I can't buy a $700.00 leather jacket - not without adding to my debt or depleting my savings account. Both bad ideas.

Idea #2: Earn More!

"There are some common things that anyone can do, regardless of their financial state, to earn more money."

Some of these seem so simple, you'll wonder why you didn't think of them. They start with the current workplace: show up alert and ready to work, do your job well, keep a positive attitude, and avoid toxic people. From there, the tips look at getting additional education, finding your passion, and starting a side business.

Idea #3: Live Frugal!

Living frugally doesn't mean living poorly.

These 100 tips (also found here) look at getting the most out of your money - break unhealthy spending habits; make, don't buy, gifts; learn to stop impulse shopping; save on food by buying and cooking in bulk - to name just a few. Maybe all 100 won't speak to you, but I'll bet many of them will.

Idea #4: Manage Your Money!

Use every spare dime to build a stable future.

There are a lot of ideas here, most of which we know; even if we don't remember to practice them. From the obvious - Pay off those credit cards and pay down that debt, to the ones we forget - Max out that retirement account and start investing in the future.

Idea #5: Control Your Own Destiny!

I love this one. "It's not about being rich; it's about freedom."

Isn't that, deep down, what we're all looking for - freedom? The freedom to do what we want, when we want. No debt hanging over our heads; no supervisors micro-managing our every minute.

I know that these ideas speak to me. And I'll definitely be doing a lot of thinking - and rethinking - thanks to the jumpstart this eBook has given me. How about you?

Thumbprint Cookies Recipe

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup of butter (2 sticks or 8 ounces), room temperature
• 1/2 cup of sugar
• 2 eggs, room temperature
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• Pinch of salt
• 2 cups of flour
• 1 cup of chopped nuts (optional)
• 3/4 cup of your favorite jam
• Parchment paper

METHOD

1. Cream the butter and sugar on high speed for about 3 minutes.
2. Separate the eggs. Add the yolks and vanilla extract to the butter mixture. If using nuts place the egg whites in a shallow dish on the side and whisk them until bubbly and frothy (the egg whites will be used to keep the nuts on the cookies).
3. Add the flour and salt. Mix until just combined. Place the dough in the fridge for 30 minutes and preheat the oven to 350F.
4. Roll the dough into balls about 1 inch in diameter. If using nuts, dip the balls into the egg whites then roll them into the nuts until covered. Place the balls on parchment lined cookie sheets.
5. Press down with your thumb to make a small well in the center of the cookie. Do not press too hard or the cookie will fall apart. Fill with 1/2 teaspoon of jam.
6. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until slightly firm. Allow to cool for a few minutes on the cookie sheet to firm up before moving them to a wire rack to finish cooling.

Makes 2 dozen cookies.

After addressing meat, produce, dairy, and bakery items, we are left with the middle of the store. In so many ways, this is the risky part of the shopping trip. The items you'll find here tend to be the snacks, sodas, and pre-packaged processed stuff with a longer shelf-life than Styrofoam.

Frozen

Vegetables

Frozen vegetables are less processed than canned, meaning more nutrients and fewer preservatives. Like anything else, however, you need to read the labels carefully. We found several packages with added sugar and/or sodium.

Store brands are almost always the best deal. At our regular store, the 12 oz packages are almost always on sale for $0.88. We get two meals out of each package, putting the cost at about $0.22/serving.

Fries and Pizza

Non-name brand french fries are frequently half the cost of the big names, and potatoes are potatoes. The frozen pizza that costs $4.99 across the street is frequently $1.50-$2.00 cheaper at the grocery store. (If not, we don't get one.)

Ice Cream

Our store has a 'premium' ice cream that is about a third the cost and usually has better ingredients. Back before diabetes came to live with us, we bought the giant buckets of ice cream - about $4.00 for 3 gallons. And every bit as good as any other option.

Frankly, we don't buy much else in this section. But, what we do buy, we buy on sale.

Canned and Boxed

Side Dishes

These are convenience foods - open a box, add milk and fat, and poof! a side dish. Throw in a little protein and it's a complete meal. Store brands are affordable, but all of them are full of preservatives and sodium.

With a little time and effort, I promise - you can make your own equivalent for less. And you'll be cutting down on the sodium and chemicals in your diet. Leave these on the shelf.

Vegetables

We just don't buy canned veggies. They are heavily processed, have far less nutritional value, and just don't taste as good as the frozen version. Except for tomatoes and tomato products.

Instead of canned sauces and chili, we tend to buy the ingredients and make our own. It's more cost effective and we know what we're eating. Trust me, canned tomatoes or tomato paste aren't much different from brand to no-brand (with the exception of the really inexpensive generic, white labels). Don't pay more for the pretty label or big name.

Coffee and Tea

If you are into caffeine - as we are - this may be one area where compromise simply isn't possible. Cheaper no-name coffee and tea are rarely the same quality as name brands. They cost less because there is more filler (coffee) or poorer quality leaves (tea).

Our answer? Stock up when our favorites are on sale.

Paper, Plastic, and Cleaning Supplies

Paper

In a nutshell, we buy 4-packs of Kroger-brand toilet paper. It's similar to Scott-brand, but about 1/3 the price. And it lasts forever, compared to the cushy soft kinds. Generic paper napkins are usually good for daily use.

Plastic

The same with storage and trash bags. Most of the store brands are fine. Just don't necessarily buy the cheapest, and check the mils (thickness) on the trash bags.

Cleaning Supplies

For liquid dish soap (we don't have a dishwasher), this is a case where the store versions tend to not work as well. They seem to be watered down, so you end up using much more and erase any possible savings. It's easy to get a mid-range option - such as Ajax - on sale and stock up.

With laundry products, less is more. "Everyday Cheapskate" has a great recipe for laundry detergent that saves a fortune. And, instead of fabric softener, one-half to one cup of vinegar in the final rinse helps soften without perfumes. Hard water? Add one-half cup non-iodized salt to the wash water and get rid of the dinginess.

For other cleaning situations, I suggest "Pioneer Thinking" Cleaning Solutions section and - again - "Everyday Cheapskate" columns. There are recipes and tips, enabling anyone to avoid paying high prices by making their own supplies.

Bottom Line

No matter what you need, there is a cheaper way to get it. P&G eSaver Coupons are one of my favorites. They load right onto your store shopping card; no clipping or schlepping or forgetting. Most are good for about 90 days, so if you're waiting for a sale - the coupons will be there when you need them. And they come right to your email inbox.

Several columns and blogs are dedicated to helping you save time and money. One I just discovered is Deal Seeking Mom. If you weren't aware, a lot of people offer coupons on eBay. (Learned that one from DSM.)

Finally, don't buy what you won't use. A great deal isn't, if it's something that will just take up space and gather dust.

Groceries

With all due respect to the SSDCoLA fairy, things are more expensive this year. And - are you listening, fairy? - food is a valid part of the cost of living. As in, no food - no living.

Crankiness aside, there are ways to live within one's means and not starve. My first suggestion - don't hate me - is a small, separate freezer. (Unless you have a huge freezer section in your fridge; and I mean huge.) That way, as sales and cash flow permit, you can stock up on specials.

Meats

We don't - under any circumstances - pay full asking price for anything down the meat aisle. Some months we eat a lot of chicken; some months pork. Occasionally, we get a deal on beef.

Our store, a local Kroger affiliate, has a lovely section with 'Manager's Special' bargains. As you might expect, these are (undoubtedly) a day or so past the sell-by date. They are also perfectly edible and cost one-third, or less, of the original price.

The only caveat being they need to be cooked right away or immediately frozen. (They will not last long in the fridge. Period.) Would I still buy them if my budget were a little more ... flexible? Absolutely. Wasting money is wasting money, no matter how much is sitting in the bank.

A guideline for whether the price is 'acceptable'? The closer you can get to $1.00 per serving (not per pound), the better. If I can buy 4 boneless, lean, center-cut loin chops for about $4.00, I'm happy. (See 'Manager's Special'.) In today's economy, 4 of the same for $8.00 is probably still a good deal; but I don't have to like it.

Produce

This is a little trickier, but still doable.

First, buy in season. Yes, you can get melons in the dead of winter and apples in February. But they were shipped in from outside your area and will cost you dearly.

Second, use that freezer. Most everything (lettuce, watermelon, citrus, and cucumbers excluded) will freeze beautifully, if you do it right. Personally, I am of the opinion that if you can buy it frozen at the store - you can freeze it yourself. (But then I've made my own preserves, baked my own bread, and dabbled in dill pickles. I could be biassed.) Another caveat : frozen carrot or celery sticks will probably not be snackable when thawed.

Lastly, you would not believe how long those (aforementioned) celery and carrot sticks will last in the refrigerator - with proper care. We immediately wash our carrots and celery, then cut into three-inch pieces. Those pieces are then put into inexpensive zippered bags and - this is really important - sealed airtight. Squeeze - all - the - air - out. We've had them last, beautifully, for weeks and weeks.

Oh, and the carrots? Another option is cleaning, cutting, and putting them (covered with water) into a small plastic container with a tight-sealing lid. If the kids get into the carrot sticks a lot (good for you and them, by the way) this eliminates the worry over resealing the bag.

Dairy

Nothing in this category is (to my understanding) freezable. However:

Low-fat milk is often cheaper than whole milk. It also has fewer calories and is lower in sodium, without giving up calcium. Where we shop, milk is milk. (In my youth, I drank milk straight from the cow - my uncle loved to 'shoot' calcium at us! So, I'm not fond of low-fat. And, since I rarely drink milk, I'm not worried about the calories and sodium.)

Cottage cheese and sour cream are - as far as I've noticed - the same quality, regardless of the name on the label. Although I did notice yesterday that the low-fat had more carbs than the regular. (Guess which one we took home.)

Yogurt, from our experience, is often better in generic or store-brands. The added sugar in so many name-brands is positively ridiculous. Our store carries a 'CarbMaster' version that has only 3gms of sugar/carbs. And - most importantly - tastes great, lower price, still has real fruit.

Eggs - ooh, fun stuff. (First, how is something that has nothing to do with milk considered dairy? {sigh}) You really can't freeze 'em. So, if there's a great deal (I just got 2 18-packs for $3.00), how do you make sure you're not poisoning your family by the time you eat all of them? Easy. Rumor has it they are good in the fridge for 4-5 weeks. If there's any doubt, get a bowl of cold water and gently drop in an egg. The more it floats, the older it is. (If it's doing the backstroke across the bowl - capture on video for YouTube, then RUN!)

Cheese is my favorite dairy product. So many varieties, so little time. (Never pay full price, by the way.) Like our carrot and celery sticks, air is the mortal enemy. Once you see a spec of mold on the outside, it's already taken over. Cost-wise? It's all trial and error. Some store brands are just as good as name brands; some are - supremely - worse. (Our store-brands are comparable at less than half the price and much less salty.)

Bakery

We don't buy much in the bakery aisle. Mark just can't (as much as he wants them) have the carbs.

Nonetheless - Egads! I can buy a loaf of wheat bread at the corner store for $2.59, or I can buy a loaf of wheat bread at my grocery store for $0.88. The same with hot dog and hamburger buns. The carb and fiber numbers are pretty much the same. Often the sodium is lower in the generic/store brands. So, hmmm, let's see. One loaf for $2.59 or 3 loaves for (just a bit more than) the same price?

Ideally? I'll go back to baking my own bread, rolls, and (shhh, don't tell) doughnuts. It's cheaper and I know what I'm eating.

Everything Else

This is huge - literally the rest of the store - so, I think we should dedicate an entire post to the rest of the shopping trip. Agreed?

Turn It Off

It may seem obvious, until you've followed a teenager or absent-minded spouse around the house, flicking off switches. I used to come home and find every light in the place on - with my ex sitting in front of the TV, oblivious to the world. Once he started paying the electric bill, he got over that one right quick!

The rule became, simply: "If you turned it on, going in; turn it off, going out." The cats didn't care if the bathroom was dark. And they could certainly hit the bed without benefit of light.

We probably cut the bill by a good 30% after he started paying attention. The downside? Three of the four cats loved to pounce on unsuspecting feet from the relative anonymity of a dark hallway. Still, peroxide and band-aids were cheaper than the electricity.

Don't Turn It On

This was my personal contribution to the ever-growing electric bill. I habitually had the television on for 'company' or background noise. Silence really bothered me.

It, admittedly, took some adjusting. But with the help of a small radio that I centrally located on top of the fridge, I could have my 'company' and not hammer the electric bill. I even sang along and seriously confused the cats!

You've never lived until you have a cat want to look into your mouth to see where that gawd-awful sound is coming from. {sigh} Everybody's a critic!

Better Bulbs

Currently, we have two lamps and a wall fixture in the living room; a fluorescent unit in the kitchen; a ceiling fan and bedside lamp in the bedroom; and a bathroom fixture with enough wattage to give you a tan. Seriously! The thing actually heats up the whole bathroom!

But mostly, we use little strategically placed nightlights. There's one each in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, and bathroom. They use very little electricity and provide enough light for most purposes.

The rest of the fixtures (bathroom tanning salon, notwithstanding) have CFLs. While these bulbs are more expensive than standard incandescent bulbs, they (as I'm sure you know) last a long time and use a lot less electricity. (60 watts vs. approximately 18 watts, depending on the bulb, for the same amount of light.) We buy a bunch at a time, either at the local dollar store or the corner drug store, when they're on sale.

I'm going to look for some that will fit the bathroom fixture. Before my retinas (retinae?) are completely fried.

Appliances

Refrigerator/Freezer

One thing we noticed, living in a small apartment, is how often the refrigerator turns on. Since apartment complexes don't always go for the latest energy-efficient appliances, it's a safe bet that this puppy is an electricity hog. But, that's easily dealt with.

Ours has a single control for fridge and freezer. Starting just above the middle of the range (1-9 in this case), we adjusted the setting slightly warmer. Keeping a close eye on food in the freezer and milk in the fridge, we continued adjusting over several days, making certain everything stayed frozen, or good and cold without freezing.

Ideally, a freezer/fridge thermometer should be used to verify the temps are no higher than 0° and 35°, respectively. (Do the same for a chest or upright freezer.) Otherwise bacteria continue to grow and you run the risk of food poisoning or simply ruining the food.

Dishwasher

We don't have a dishwashing machine. {sigh} If you do, and I'm pretty sure I hate you, there are ways to reduce power usage. Don't run partial loads. It takes just as much electricity to run a half-empty dishwasher as it does a full one, and you'll be running it more often.

Use a shorter cycle, if your machine has one. There's a huge difference between light load and blast-the-teflon-off-the-pans. Run the dishwasher at night, when rates tend to be lower.

Don't use the dry cycle, if you can avoid it. Letting the dishes air-dry overnight uses, on average, about 1,000 fewer watts. And if you don't have a dishwasher that heats the water, don't get one. They use about 3,000 more watts of electricity per load.

Clothes Washer

Obviously, an EnergyStar-rated appliance is the best bet, with front-loading washers beating out top-loaders. If your budget looks like our budget, trading up is probably not an immediate option. Other than replacing what you have, there are a number of things that will help with these two meter spinners.

Use the coolest water temperature you can. Most of the power needed to wash a load of clothes goes into heating the water. No matter what the wash temp, I always rinse in cold water. Adding a cup of vinegar to the final rinse helps get the soap out, eliminating the need for an extra rinse cycle.

Unless clothes are absolutely walk-to-the-machine-on-their-own filthy, try a shorter cycle. From what I can tell with our machine, most of the time spent (per load) is waiting for the darn thing to fill up. But anything that reduces the power consumption, while still getting the clothes clean (kinda the point, huh?) is good.

Clothes Dryer

When it comes to drying clothes, you're really talking the electricity grabber of the pair. Ideally, hanging everything to dry (like my mom and grandma always did) is the best option. Zero energy use! We don't have the space to do that, so a clothes dryer is a necessity.

With that said, don't overload the dryer. Our apartment-sized dryer is, oddly enough, a little smaller than our washer. To compensate, I don't throw in a whole load. By putting in a few items, pulling out the dry and adding the damp, it actually takes less time to get everything dry enough. (I also try to hang the jeans or towels, etc. that are waiting their turn, so the air starts drying them for me.)

Which leads me to another energy saver. Anything that ends up on a hanger, in my opinion, doesn't have to be dry as dust. As long as clothes aren't crammed and jammed together, the circulating air in the closet will finish drying things before there's a risk of mildew. And overdrying actually contributes to excessive wrinkling in a lot of fabrics.

Unplug It

This one's a toughy, for us. We have a lot of electronics and small appliances. Even when they're not in use, many are still drawing some electricity. (My cell phone actually tells me to unplug the charger when charging is complete to save electricity. Cheeky brat!)

Not everything that plugs into the wall, mind you. But, anything with a clock or always-on light uses power all the time. Just less when it's only sitting there looking pretty. (Mr. Electricity explains it in much better detail than I can.)

Almost all of our 'stuff' is plugged into a surge protector. I have been considering routinely turning off the strips when we shut down for the night. Unfortunately, I'll probably have a few meltdowns when the coffee pot fails to turn on in the morning. (I'm not at my best and brightest when I first wake up.)

Don't Heat/Cool It All

If you wandered over to visit Mr. Electricity, you've noticed that - far and away - the biggest energy hogs are heaters and coolers. That furnace or A/C unit will make the meter spin like a whirling dervish. It's actually rather scary!

We don't heat or cool every room, all the time. During the day, only the living room vent is open; at night, only the bedroom. And keeping the thermostat below toasty or above frigid makes a huge difference.

If you have a bigger place than we do (not difficult to imagine), space heaters and ceiling fans use a lot less power. Just make sure the heaters are off, if you're not in the room. And watch the kids around them. Of course, a few well-placed afghans to throw over your legs or across your shoulders, as well as on the bed at night, keep you nice and cozy without any electricity at all.

(Aw, come on! You knew I was gonna go there!)

Budget Tweak

When I started budgeting, a single paycheck didn't cover the rent. (Hubby-to-be paid half, but I budgeted as though he wouldn't.) Each month, as I put down the bills for the first-half and second-half, I split everything in half. This is a tad tricky, as you have to set it up after  the mortgage/rent is paid - budgeting for the next month; if that makes sense.

Taking our worksheets from our first Thrifty Thursday, we want to look at our total expenses, regardless of due date:

Now, we're going to create a single budget that will be used for both paychecks. Remember, this will involve setting aside money from each check toward monthly expenses - money that can't be used for anything else. Just because there's $250.00 in the checking account, doesn't mean a new DVD player in your future.

As you can see, this is a little easier for budgeting purposes. You can see that, given bills and spending habits, each check is just a tad short of the total going out. Adjusting the budget doesn't involve as much moving-this-to-pay-that; you simply prune Groceries or Gasoline or Miscellaneous once for the whole month.

Now, you have two different, but effective, options. If having equal budgets for each paycheck is more to your liking, I have one very important suggestion: transfer any monies not needed during the first half into savings, to be moved back when bills are due. Do the same thing for the mid-month paycheck.

Money that isn't in checking, can't be spent frivolously. And, you can earn a little interest on those pending payments.

Trimming the Budget

The point of any budget is to ensure that critical bills get paid - in full and on time. With a finite amount available, something has to give. Fixed Essential Expenses (mortgage, car loan, insurance) are just not adjustable. Within reason, everything else is.

Cell Phones

We tend to look here, when the budget gets wildly out of balance. Partly, because this is one of our biggest issues - how many minutes and text messages do we really need? And what about Internet access? For us, with no other phone service and three users on the account, it became quite a balancing act.

Minutes

Over time we've gone up and down on the minutes - 500, then 900, then 750. Most months we don't use nearly all of them, but some months are crazy. On our current plan, each person gets about 4 hours/month for personal business. Unlimited nights and weekends, as well as free calls to/from anyone with our carrier, cover social calling.

Adjusting

• Pull together several cell phone bills. At least, six months worth; a full year would be better. Write down the whenever/daytime/paid minutes from each statement, total them, and divide by 6 (or 12). This is your average monthly minutes used.
  
  If this number is less than your monthly plan, there's room to reduce that plan - as your carrier allows. Ours, for example, has 3 levels and unlimited. We can move up or down, within those limits.
  
  Some newer companies, like Boost Mobile, have some great rates for unlimited everything. If you aren't in the middle of a contract, switching carriers may be an option. Be warned: not all phones are compatible with all services and changing companies may require purchasing a new phone. Not an inexpensive consideration.

Texting

This is our compromise area. Since we are carved-in-stone about the minutes, we have unlimited text messages for all three phones. I don't use them much, but the guys do; so it works.

These days, most carriers offer unlimited texting as part of every package. Why would anyone choose a plan that forces you to track texts each month, or risk additional charges? They wouldn't and you shouldn't, either.

Internet

With our carrier, there isn't much wiggle room on Internet/web access. Each phone has its own minimum required  service plan. The more the phone can do, the more the service costs. Basically, all or nothing.

Since Mark and I are web-junkies - we surf and play games through our phones - cutting this access isn't an option. It's a known evil that we choose to live with. However, not all plans are created equal - our $30.00 smartphone service is $39.99 (or more) with some other companies. It pays to check.

Equipment

With phones doing everything but the dishes, it's easy to get caught up in wanting the latest and greatest. (I live with one of those but-I-neeeed-this-phone types.) Touch-screens, GPS, full-web browsing - every week brings something newer and better. In our case, each line is eligible for a phone upgrade at the end of the current 2-year contract.

Adjusting

• If the latest and greatest phone is tempting you, there are options. First, breathe - and think about it! You don't have to be the first on your block to have {fill in phone name}. Not if you're having trouble covering the bills.
  
  Consider allowing your current plan to expire and use the time left to search for a better deal. That phone you can't resist may be free with new service from another carrier. Or the new plan may be so much cheaper that the cost of the phone is less of a burden. Either way, you'll have a pretty good idea what the phone is going to cost, and may be able to salt away a few dollars toward the one-time expense.

Cell Phone Summary

If the cell phone bill is a rather large chunk of your budget, this may be a good place to start trimming. Look at what you use, compared to what you're charged. A plan with 1,000 minutes isn't a good investment when you barely use 500 every month. Paying for a fixed number of text messages per month is virtually unnecessary. And $50.00/month for smartphone Internet service may be the final sign to move along.

Before you renew your contract, explore your options. It isn't too difficult to find great deals, as long as you understand what you need and what you can do without.

Fast forward: I am up, against my better judgement, and, since I am up, I want a cigarette. Clothes on, shoes tied, ready to go. Nope! Lock won't turn.

While suggesting I might want to mention this situation to the office, Mark has a go at the door. Nope! Won't budge. Pliers in hand, he now insists that I discuss this with the office. Hey, great idea - get me out! and I'll be happy to do just that.

After a few creative phrases and criminal abuse of a deadbolt, it was decided that we had a serious problem that needed immediate resolution. Gee!? Ya, think?! (Panic makes me a tad sarcastic.) My call to the office went something like this:

Me: "Hi, this is Jules. We have a problem with the lock on our door."

Manager: "Oh, are you locked out?

Me: "Uh, no. {dramatic pause} Locked in."

Well, suffice it to say - she found that rather amusing. So amusing, in fact, that I could hear her laughing across the atrium and through my securely bolted front door.

In her defense, she did come right up - tools in hand - to free us from our tiny apartment. Which, by the way, was getting smaller with every passing moment that I was stuck inside. It's a bit like not having a car; it doesn't matter if you have nowhere to go, the fact that you can't go anywhere will make you crazy. (I was starting to pace, energetically.)

By this point, Mark had taken the lock apart and was trying to force the mechanism. The lock was having none of that. There was no piece or part that would give an inch. So, with the manager on the outside and Mark on the inside, the standoff began.

Luckily, Mark has a collection of tools to rival any well-stocked hardware store. As time marched on and the lock continued to thwart any and all efforts, my job became handing larger and ever deadlier items out the front window. The housekeeper found this highly entertaining.

When the wire cutters passed through the window, I started eyeing the space between the side of the desk and the open window. Have I mentioned that when you can't do something normal, it becomes the only thing you really really really want to do?! I was losing faith in the tool-wielders and desperately in need of --

Suddenly, from the lovely, open, beyond my reach, rarified air of the real world - a voice floated up:

Do ... you ... need ... food!?

Epilogue: I check the new deadbolt several times a day. Unlocking and locking; unlocking and locking. It's my new(est) compulsion. Well, that and stashing cigarettes all over the apartment.